Hello World

Polite, well-raised children, or diminutive organic robots?

When Natalie Steinberg, 7, and her 9-year-old sister, Kali, arrive at their Springfield home after school, they don't throw their backpacks on the floor and head to the television or outside to play. Rather, they put their coats and backpacks on a rack in the foyer, have a snack of fruit or cookies and start their homework at the kitchen table. When that is complete, they leave for after-school activities and then have dinner. Once they've asked to be excused and cleared their dishes, they have free time, followed by preparation for bed, reading and lights out around 9 p.m.

later...

"When they start running around the house and chasing each other, that's a challenge," he says. Also, he knows the routine is not functioning well when his 9-year-old is supposed to be doing spelling homework and starts asking random questions such as: "When is it going to snow?" and "Why is the sky blue?"

"We need to focus," is his response. "I'm a broken record about that."

Yes, because heaven forbid we permit creativity and imagination to ravage the productivity of our youth. THE NAIL THAT STICKS UP GETS HAMMERED DOWN. And don't you forget it.

But Peter Steinberg says getting the girls organized also helps him and Caroline.

"If they don't get things done, it cuts into time for me to do stuff with my wife and makes life very stressful for us."

Oh. I get it now.

Now look, baby names have simply gotten too silly. Jason Lee, of many Kevin Smith movies, as well as Almost Famous and some flops, just had his first child, a boy. You'd think a guy named Jason would have an appreciation for a regular name, but apparently he's been sniffing glue lately or something, because his child's name is PILOT INSPEKTOR RIESGRAF LEE. No joke.
Apparently this is just the tip of the iceberg; for a truly disturbing look at name trends, read this column from the Washington Post, by Gene Weingarten. Weingarten does a live chat every week which is usually entertaining - occasionally Berkeley Breathed shows up!
And then there's the world of sports, which is filled with ridiculous names:
Peerless Price. Ok, this name could be seen as prophetic or empowering or something, so I can accept it.
Trung Canidate. Where to begin. "Trung" is not a name. It's not even a word. It's gibberish. And then there's "Canidate." It's ALMOST "Candidate," but it isn't. Pronouncing this guy's name is like an exercise in speech impediment.
Cleveland Indians outfielders Milton Bradley and Coco Crisp.
It makes one long for Jay Williams (NBA - horrible motorcycle accident), Jayson (NBA - Murderer), and Jason Williams (NBA - Selfish tattooed point guard).


Let's go over a few of the names mentioned in this post:
PILOT INSPEKTOR RIESGRAF LEE
Berkeley Breathed
Coco Crisp

Houston, we have a problem.

There's a serious side to this. People with "black" names appear to be discriminated against when applying for jobs. Sure, the real problem in this case is racism, not stupid names. Still, I think people with strange names (hippie names, feminine names for men, old-fashioned names, misspelled names like "kaycie," etc) are subject to prejudice - a kind of prejudice their parents could have easily prevented if they weren't so set on making some kind of statement with their innocent child.

In other words, names are important, and burdening your child with a bizarre one can really screw the kid over. Please, future parents, be responsible and stick with Mary or John.