Hello World

Well, one of the four big music companies actually saw reason. They're going to start selling music without DRM. All of their music. For the people who plan to only ever use iPods and don't care about sound quality, EMI will continue to sell DRM-laden songs for the same ninety-nine cents they have always charged. But for an extra thirty cents per track, you'll be able to buy an unrestricted version of every song in EMI's catalog--and it'll be better sound quality, too. Perhaps most remarkably, from now on they'll be selling albums online for the same price as before--$9.99--but in the new, unrestricted, higher-quality, format.

This is totally awesome news for law-abiding music buyers who have been treated like criminal garbage for years. And now that the door has been meaningfully opened, there seems to be no way to shut it, or even to keep it from swinging wide open. I'll be shocked if all online music isn't available without DRM by this time next year.

Like I said, this is really good news. But I'm writing a massive academic paper about DRM in online media sales. And it's due in a week. CURSES.

Couldn't you guys have just saved the announcement for May?

Yes, that is "I Think I Need a New Heart," by the Magnetic Fields, in a commercial for DOG FOOD. This has got to be a wry commentary on capitalism or something. Either that, or Stephin Merritt died and left his estate to Richard Milstein.

Cross-posted from my other blog.

Scissor Sisters - She's My Man

Some pretty impressive and deeply weird puppetry going on here.

[Table of Malcontents]

Cross-posted from my other blog.

My dear friend Molly posted this video today and, well, it's amazing.



Word on the street is a sequel, entitled Blazin Hazen. Or maybe this is the sequel. I don't know. It's all a mess. A beautiful mess.

The Redskins still can't play defense, but Duckett averaged over five yards per carry and Campbell was good. This means, of course, that I'll have to start next season with high expectations yet again, and almost certainly have my hopes dashed by week seven again... but I can live with that. Just please, please, please, leave Brunell on the bench forever. It's sort of liberating to not have to worry about winning or losing (since we're completely toast, playoffs-wise) and just get to think about whether we're getting better in the big picture. Maybe Clinton Portis will have enough time to actually be healthy before next season starts, and our receivers will learn to make catches, and our offensive and defensive lines will learn to block, and our cornerbacks will learn to cover receivers, and, and, and Joe Gibbs can ride into the stadium astride a glistering unicorn!

Jay-Z's new album, Kingdom Come, comes out tomorrow. The first single, "Show Me What You Got," produced by often-namechecked Just Blaze, is pretty terrible. But the title track, also produced by Just Blaze, is pretty awesome. You can viscerally feel Danger Mouse's influence on hip-hop production, and it is a good thing. Word on the street (i.e. Amazon's editorial review) is that the last half of the album is a lot more experimental--collaborations with various people, including Coldplay's detestable Chris Martin--and I'm a bit apprehensive about that. But we'll see. I may write more about this album if I listen to the whole thing and determine that it is excellent or awful. You can interpret radio silence as a tepid review.

Tomorrow afternoon I fly to Denver, Colorado, to spend Thanksgiving with my family. I get back to Boston on Sunday.

Here's an example of how digital media and hardware sellers have dropped the ball:

A couple of months ago I made an ill-advised bid on a set of DVDs for a television show that I enjoyed a lot in my youth. But I'm a busy guy and haven't had a chance to sit down and watch all 90-some episodes. Or any of them, for that matter. You know what would be great? If I could put the DVD in my computer, rip the episodes to little iPod screen-size video files, and load them up to watch on my commute. But--surprise!--I cannot do that. It's illegal to decrypt DVDs, and even if I were willing to break the law it's an extremely complicated and arcane process; and then I'd have to figure out how to get the file into a format that would work on my iPod. Suffice it to say that I gave up on this plan and anticipate putting off watching Optimus Prime battle the Decepticons until some years into my retirement.

Come on guys, read my big boy blog--I miss you! Although this is probably the most boring post of the year, so maybe just check back in a week or so...

Did Green Day just equate the Superdome with a whorehouse?

For the last week or so, I've had George's answering machine message stuck in my head. If you've seen the Seinfeld episode it's from, you'll recognize the lyrics immediately:

Believe it or not, George isn't at home
So leave a message at the beep
I must be out, or I'd pick up the phone
Where could I be? Believe it or not, I'm not home!

So now that I trust that I've gotten it stuck in your head too, let me explain to you how I plan to go about getting it out of my head. I intend to get my hands on an mp3 of the song from which it borrows its tune: Believe It or Not, the theme song from "Greatest American Hero." The chorus to that song, which is extremely artful and not at all cheesy, goes like this:

Believe it or not,
I'm walking on air.
I never thought I could feel so free.
Flying away on a wing and a prayer.
Who could it be?
Believe it or not it's just me.

Once I track down the mp3, I'm going to listen to it on repeat until the idea of hearing it one more time makes me physically ill.

Last time I ran into this kind of problem, I was looking for the John Basedow theme song. And although the file's not available anymore, my dear friend ooner managed to track it down for me. So now I'm appealing to my internet friends again--help me, please, internet friends.

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Quick non-specific thoughts on last night's Lost (and, to a lesser degree, the last few episodes of Lost): the writers have seemingly given up on actually coming up with original ideas and are now winkingly echoing the complaints/theories of crazed fans on the internet. Hey, I bet it would blow everyone's mind if we had the characters asking the same questions the psychotic message board fans are asking (i.e. "where are they getting all that food? how do we know any of this is real? aren't the number coincidences utterly ridiculous?"). But of course they won't actually answer any of those questions or resolve anything in a satisfying way. That would require a modicum of respect for their viewers, rather than a craven interest in maintaining a sinister hold on them without endowing them with anything approaching coherent plot resolution. This is how a modern television show dies; not with a bang but an ironic meta-whisper.

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Finally, Tina Fey is filming a pilot for a new NBC sitcom, but who cares? The important info in the NY Times article is about Studio 60, the new hour-long drama written by Aaron Sorkin and starring Bradley Whitford and Matthew Perry! ...and Amanda Peet, but we can always kill her off. It looks like the show, which is a behind-the-scenes look at a SNL-type variety show, is essentially a lock for NBC's Autumn schedule, and I for one am extremely excited. I don't even mind that it is going to rip off a bunch of Sports Night plotlines. I'm just excited for the possibility of a Casey McCall/Dan Rydell cameo.

Here are a couple of thoughts about Boyz II Men:

1. Are they ashamed of their first single, "Motownphilly"? Because here's the thing: that song is awesome. If you ask me, they pretty much topped out with it, even taking into account the goofy rap portions. I want to make this clear: "Motownphilly" is nothing to be ashamed of. But it seems to me that, after hitting it huge with boring R&B ballads like "End of the Road" and "I'll Make Love to You" they probably now feel a little silly about their new jack swing debut. It's goofy and dated and not very sexy at all. They talk about cheese steaks and doo wop.

Here's the way I see it playing out: Shawn Stockman is at a club with a bevy of women, talking about how great the R&B lifestyle is, name-dropping his industry buddies and talking about how he's got a pool table in his basement, and suddenly the soundsystem starts blaring: "Back in school we used to dream about this every day; could it really happen, or do dreams just fade away? Everybody's singing and they said it sounded smooth; so we started a group and here we are, kicking it just for you!" And Shawn turns to the ladies and is like, "um... did you know that Eddie Murphy and I are BFF?" I mean, isn't "Motownphilly" the equivalent of awkward yearbook photos? Am I just being ridiculous?

2. There must have been a Boyz II Men: Behind the Music, but I sure haven't seen it. I figure theirs must be the most boring and drama-free music biography. You know, like Michael McCary had a debilitating addiction to cribbage. Or one show they weren't sure that Wanya Morris would be able to perform because he was bedridden with an ice cream headache. And then the band almost broke up because Nathan Morris slept with Wanya's girlfriend, only it turned out that Wanya and she had broken up a few months beforehand, but dude, there are rules. And then they fought through the hardship and now they are best friends again, touring state fairs and sweet sixteen parties all over the mid-Atlantic region.

Oh man. So on SNL they had this Young Chuck Norris music video. Which I thought was basically just a weird joke related to the whole Chuck Norris Facts phenomenon that has been all over the internet lately.

But apparently it's ALSO a parody of this horrifying, creepy, superpatriotic music video that is sung from the perspective of a guy who died fighting in the War on Terrorism. I don't even know what to say, except that you should check out this link to learn more about this SERIOUS, NO JOKE music video, which is subtly titled "America We Stand As One."

We live in a truly amazing world.

[much of this info from Boing Boing]

In no particular order:

• LCD Soundsystem*
  
• Old 97's*
  
• Thievery Corporation*
  
• Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
  
• Outkast
  
• Radiohead
  
• Le Tigre
  
• Gorillaz (with all the guest artists and everything--although that will never ever happen it would be awesome)
  
• Jurassic 5
  
• Ted Leo + the Pharmacists*
  
• The New Deal
  
• Bloc Party*
  
• Lyrics Born
  
• DJ Shadow
  
• Daft Punk

Asterisk signifies a band that I've already seen live and they were so awesome that I would like to see them again.

If you're interested in 20% off of "select desktop and notebook purchases of $999 or more (before tax, shipping & handling)" from Dell, let me know. I'll give the first lucky person my Secret Code. Ditto $20 off "electronics and accessories purchases of $200 or more (before tax, shipping & handling)."

---

As part of my ongoing campaign to get people to like the Strokes again, here's another one of the songs off of the new album. It's called "Vision and Division" and I really think it's pretty good--their by-now familiar (some would say infamous) sound, the simple plaintive lyrics, and a few minor but notable departures from their general modus operandi all come together in a very enjoyable and insistently-catchy tune. I don't care that they're spoiled New York private school brats, nor that they seem interested in remaking the same album over and over until one of them ODs on coke and ketamine in a SoHo loft toilet. The album they keep remaking is good, and I will continue to sing their praises even if they're no longer the Next Big Thing.

Bonus old school songs:
De La Soul's seminal "Fallin'"
Dean Martin's bizarre and possibly offensive "Hey Mambo"

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Today in the airport I saw a family with two kids and two parents, and the kids were both conspicuously wearing Redskins apparel. I decided to say something to them, which I really don't ever do, but it seemed like a good time to go ahead and say, "are you guys excited for the game tomorrow?" And then they said something that made me feel deeply jealous and almost angry, which was "we're on our way to Tampa for the game." But on the whole it was okay, because they seemed nice and on the whole I am glad that some Skins fans will be at the game to cheer when Tampa Bay self-destructs. (Redskins win, 27-13.)

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Also interesting was when the guys at Wendy's pretty much tried to give me a pre-flight coronary, replacing the already-gross double-cheeseburger I ordered with this monstrosity:

For those of you too lazy to count, that's a quadruple-cheeseburger. I didn't finish it, but it's 5 hours later and I'm still not hungry.

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Things I'm still steamed about:

• airport security, which is completely ineffective posturing that does nothing but weaken the very civil liberties it purports to protect.
  
• people who think David Foster Wallace is postmodern (he's not, dudes, and you would know that if you ever read any of his admittedly-arcane work)
  
• the ludicrous taxicab situation in Manhattan on New Years Eve
  
• turning off electronic devices on takeoff/landing (not entirely unrelated to the first point)
  
• dirty laundry: you wash it and then a few days later you just have to wash it again!
  
• Digital rights management (DRM)
  

Things I have recently been reminded about how much I like, if that convoluted sentence makes any sense at all:

• Washington, DC
  
• The Strokes (obviously)
  
• Not having ridiculous facial hair
  
• Daft Punk's Discovery, which is just a terrifically wonderful album from start to finish and has a few high points--"Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger" and "Too Long" definitely among them--that push higher than just about any "electronic" or "dance" music out there
  
• Seeing absurd cinematic spectacles, e.g. King Kong, in big theaters with sexy sound systems
  
• flickr. flickr is the best.
  

---

Which is all to say, I'm back in Boston after an eventful and enjoyable break in Florida, New York, and DC. I'm clean-shaven and motivated and totally totally TOTALLY excited about the Redskins game tomorrow.

Obligatory Festivus reference.

Anyway, this happened last week but I was busy taking Very Important Tests and didn't have time to mention it. Yet another person hops on the anti-"My Humps" bandwagon. I'm a total trend-setter!

Why is everyone so excited about Broken Social Scene's last album (and, more generally, their entire ouvre)? I've listened to it a few times and it's not just that I can't quite love it--I don't even enjoy it at all. I mean, it's not dissonant noise or anything, but it is unenjoyable enough that if I still listened to the radio and I heard one of their songs I'd switch to another station (ideally a classic rock station playing back-to-back block featuring the seeming-paradoxical pairing of Foreigner's "Hot-Blooded" and "Cold as Ice" but that's another post entirely).

I know that some of you are what a less-charitable blogger might call irrational sycophants of BSS. So please explain the appeal of these guys.

I'm going quiet until the end of finals (two and a half weeks from now). No posts and, assuming I can maintain any kind of discipline at all^* a significant reduction in the amount of time I spend reading other people's posts.

^* Unlikely.

I'm leaving you with three songs that I've been listening to over and over again in the last few days:
Ask Me Anything, off of the Strokes' upcoming album, encapsulates everything I love and everything I hate about this band. They're so infuriatingly good and are so infuriatingly obnoxious about it. I specifically can't decide whether the chorus is genius or idiotic.

The next two songs are off of the soundtrack to Stubbs the Zombie, which comprises covers of songs of the late '50s by contemporary bands like Death Cab, Ben Kweller, the Flaming Lips, and Cake. It's pretty great overall, but these two are my favorites:
Tears on my Pillow, by Clem Snide, just sounds great to me. I'm loving it.
The Living Dead, by Phantom Planet, is haunting and catchy and fun.

Have a nice December--I'll be back in a few weeks.

Movies that are just many years too late to be relevant (and look awful):

• Rent
  
• Aeon Flux

Artists whom I wish would release new albums soon, please:

• Ben Kweller (I know, I know...)
  
• The Gadgits (I think they probably broke up)
  
• The Old 97's (A live album is no substitute for a real one, guys. And it's cool that Rhett Miller's got a solo album coming out in February, but that's not the same.)
  
• Dan the Automator (any of your various projects would be satisfactory, thanks)
  
• The Streets
  
• The Shins
  
• The Breeders (I'm pretty sure they are definitely defunct, but I can dream)
  
• Ambulance LTD
  
• Ratatat (do you know these guys? THEY ARE AWESOME.)
  
• DJ Shadow
  
• Phantom Planet (I'm almost ready to take them seriously now)

Ideas I had to complete the "rule of three" for the final list:

• Books I have recently read that you should read
  
• Reasons why the bagel/coffee place near school sucks
  
• Close personal friends of mine who blog, all of whom started after me, not that I'm saying I inspired them or anything
  
• Some meta bullshit joke about making lists

For what it's worth, I've been making fun of "My Humps" since June.

Has anyone noticed that Fergie can't, to use technical jargon, sing a lick? I mean, at least the woman who sang with C&C Music Factory had pipes. Fergie can barely carry a tune. Also, she pisses herself at shows and subjects herself to extensive cosmetic surgery just so she can resemble a glob of silly putty with lipstick.

I remember listening to the Peas in college, before they decided to provide the soundtrack to the NBA Playoffs and got cast in Best Buy commercials. Those were the days.

Sports:

• Disturbing: Air Force football coach says something stupid and racist.
  'He said Air Force needed to recruit faster players. "We were looking at things, like you don't see many minority athletes in our program," DeBerry told The Gazette of Colorado Springs.
  
  When questioned about the remarks during his weekly luncheon Tuesday, the coach didn't hesitate to elaborate.
  
  "It just seems to be that way, that Afro-American kids can run very, very well. That doesn't mean that Caucasian kids and other descents can't run, but it's very obvious to me they run extremely well," DeBerry said in remarks first broadcast Tuesday night by KWGN-TV in Denver.'
• More promising: Sheryl Swoopes comes out.
  I believe Swoopes is the first well-known athlete in a major team sport to announce his or her homosexuality. And yes, "major" is a relative term. At any rate, this is good news, assuming there isn't a dumbass backlash.

Music:

• I just don't like the Fiery Furnaces. I never will. Quirky is fine, but listenable is pretty important to me, also.
• Fatboy Slim's "Right Here, Right Now" is probably the best song he'll ever make.
• Death Cab's latest album is growing on me. I mean, really growing on me. Specifically, "I Will Follow You Into the Dark." I have been listening to it on repeat for the last half hour, and I'm pretty sure this song could even get Ji a girlfriend. It's that good.

Books:

• I just finished reading Great Expectations for the first time since 1995. I didn't like it nearly as much--the protagonist is a dumb selfish jerk; the love interest is two-dimensional and unappealing; the convict is maudlin and implausible in motivation. And what exactly was Pip doing with himself in his time in London? Spending himself into debt, I guess, but wasn't he supposed to be bettering himself? That said, I'm still glad I reread it. A few characters were still interesting this time around: Joe Gargary, Mr. Jaggers, Wemmick; Herbert Pocket. The plot's twists and turns were truly surprising the first time I read it, and even on the second reading they were pretty entertaining. Dickens's writing is still biting, hilarious, tender, and powerful. Still and all, I understand why someone coming at this book from a modern and adult perspective might not be too happy with it.
• I am now reading The Meaning of Everything, which is about the founding and creation of the Oxford English Dictionary. Man, was there ever a book more guaranteed to fascinate me? It's a bit dry in the telling (that British wit is desiccate) but I love the subject matter, and it turns out that the OED has a pretty wild history. Well, wild relative to that of other lexicographic pursuits, at least.

Internet links:

From YTMND.com, a website apparently inspired by one of my favorite websites ever:

• Number 1
• Number 2 (offensive I think, but I am not sure to whom)
• Number 3

You can find lots more by browsing around YTMND.com.

• You'll need sound for this one, but it is pretty funny.
• The coup de grace. I don't want to give too much away, but this website's background music is my favorite song of the last five years. You can directly download it here, and you definitely should.

My internet friend catherine put up a very thought-provoking post today, that ended up in a comments-brawl about whether bands should be obligated to play their long-dead hits at shows. I weighed in on the side of playing what the fans want, but I can see the artists' point as well. I'm not going to say any more about it, since I already ended up blathering enough on catherine's blog.

But I will take the opportunity to link you to what I think is a pretty fascinating link on the general subject of "selling out": Dave Eggers goes off on the Harvard Advocate.

A friend in Montreal alerted me to this piece of news:

Vice Records is releasing Do They Know It's Hallowe'en, a single featuring, well, a lot of wacky indie musicians (Beck, Postal Service, Arcade Fire, and many many more). It's pretty much an enormous joke at the expense of "We Are the World," etc., but its mean-spirit is redeemed by the fact that the profits actually will be going to charity (UNICEF) and by the fact that it is pretty funny.

Navigating to the page I linked before (okay, fine, here it is again) will allow you to listen to the song using the magic of Macromedia Flash.