Hello World

Scrubs star John C. McGinley is engaged after proposing to his yoga teacher girlfriend Nicole Kessler on Saturday in Malibu, California. McGinley, who plays Dr. Perry Cox in the Emmy-nominated show, popped the question in the couple's seaside garden. He tells American publication People, "At about 9:30 am I asked Nicole to come down to the lower part of the garden with me in Malibu. I wanted to show her some different flower ideas I had. And I had the rock in my pocket. I told her, 'Sit down here to see the view of the ocean' and I said, 'Will you marry me?' and I took out the rock."

[IMDB news, of course]

Foxx Furious Over 'Miami Vice' Race "Joke"

Oscar winner Jamie Foxx erupted on the set of his new movie Miami Vice after learning of a racist prank played on his stand-in. The Ray star reportedly insisted that two insensitive crew members were dismissed after they approached David Brown holding nooses, suggesting that he and Foxx were heading for a Ku Klux Klan-style lynching. Publicists for the movie confirm the incident took place but refuse to comment further. But an insider on the set tells US tabloid National Enquirer, "Jamie was absolutely infuriated with the blatant racism. To him and David, the joke was a reference to the common practice of lynching black people in the American south during slavery days. Jamie came stomping out of his dressing room and demanded an explanation from the crew members involved. They realized they had gone too far with the joke but an apology was far too little and too late for Jamie."

Thank god we had that insider on the set to explain to us why this was offensive.

From IMDB:

American Pie actress Tara Reid is heartbroken after her designer handbag containing $180,000 worth of jewelry was snatched at the Spanish isle of Ibiza's airport on Sunday. Reid, who is in Europe shooting her reality TV show Wild On Tara, reportedly became "hysterical" over the loss, as the glittering collection held great sentimental value to her.

Also, it was worth $180,000.

IMDB's quest to completely lack a sense of humor continues:

Knoxville in Trouble Over Simpson Rumors

Johnny Knoxville's wife is furious about rumors the actor had an affair with his Dukes Of Hazzard co-star Jessica Simpson. The former Jackass funnyman was reported to have romanced the reality TV beauty on the set of the movie remake - despite the fact he's married to Melanie Clapp and Simpson's married to former boyband star, Nick Lachey. And Knoxville - real name Phillip Clapp - admits the tales have had an affect on his marriage. He tells the New York Daily News, "I guess I'd have to say she's standing over me right now. No knife. But she does wield a mean pepper spray."

Bobby Brown: "Reality Show Helped Whitney and I"

Bobby Brown insists shooting his upcoming reality TV show has helped him and his wife, Whitney Houston, overcome their drug demons because the series showed them both how normal, but troubled their lives were. Being Bobby Brown, which doesn't feature any drug abuse, had led Brown to suggest it may have been just what his wife needed to show her she still had a problem. She checked into a rehabilitation facility after the series was filmed. Brown says, "I think it (the show) brought us closer together because it showed us that we're just normal." But the My Prerogative singer insists the rumored alcohol and drugs hell he and his wife went through is now in the past and he and Houston are sober and well. He adds, "The smell, the look in her eyes right now... just everything about her is what I met and I'm hoping that everything about me is what she met, and we're working hard at keeping our relationship maintained - and clean and sober." Brown insists it's time fans got behind the couple and stopped criticizing them for living a life they read about in tabloids. He explains, "If you love us and you like what we do as artists please just give us that, because that's what we give the most of, that's what we concentrate on, we concentrate on being the best singers and entertainers for you. When you try to break us down with our personal lives that really effects us. So, if I could say anything to people right now that's be to pray for us to be better."

To this I have only one thing to say: the smell? I mean, doesn't that phrase just bring to mind some uncomfortable ideas about what Whitney must have smelled like before? Like, great, she doesn't smell like rotting meat and rubbing alcohol anymore... do you really need to tell the world about it?

Bobby, you crazy bastard, you are just about the creepiest guy ever. You and R. Kelly (and Britney, and Russell, and Tom, and Lindsay, and, well, all of them really) should thank God every day that Michael Jackson paved the way for your bizarre behavior, allowing you to continue to make a living as a celebrity despite regularly and unceasingly demonstrating nothing but inhuman, anti-social, self-destructive insanity.

Do you think Britney and her husband really had this interaction?

Britney: I've met grown men in this business that are a lot older than Kevin and they think I'm this dumb blonde, because I'm quote-Britney Spears-unquote. Men in Hollywood are just -- oh, my God, it's horrible. Babe, am I talking too much?
Kevin: Yeah, go away. [He laughs and hugs her.]
Britney: Is it okay if I stay? I miss you when I'm not with you.
Kevin: I don't care.

Answer: Yes. That and so much more.

Binoche Has Her Oscar Touched Up

French actress Juliette Binoche has had her 1996 Best Supporting Actress Oscar touched up by the Academy Of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences after the statuette lost its sheen. The English Patient star became sad when the award started peeling as her young son played with it, but was thrilled when she learned that a perk of winning is the ability to get the little man repaired for free. She says, "When I first brought it home I wanted to share my award, so I let my three-year-old son play with it. After a few days it started peeling until it was all naked and there was no gold left. The Oscar was all grey. It made me a little sad, but I couldn't stop smiling and thinking about how it is an illusion. Though it was kindly replaced by the Academy, it made me realize the real reward is what you keep inside you."

So the geniuses at IMDB read that quote and took from it that she had her Oscar fixed? What a bunch of dumb assholes! I got it from here

Stars Evacuated from London Hotel

Hollywood stars Brad Pitt and Matt Damon were evacuated from an exclusive London hotel Thursday when a fire broke out. Four fire engines rushed to Claridges in Mayfair, where the pair were scheduled to give a press conference in the ballroom, to promote new movie Ocean's Twelve. A London Fire Brigade spokesman says, "Four fire engines were sent to the scene after a call at 11am. They are still there. I believe there was a small fire on the ground floor, probably in the kitchen area." Claridges restaurant is run by flamboyant celebrity chef and holder of three Michelin stars Gordon Ramsay. Damon and Pitt aren't the only famous guests currently at Claridges - Jim Carrey, who is promoting new movie Lemony Snicket's A Series Of Unfortunate Events, and Sir Mick Jagger, who is living in a suite at the hotel, were both also seen fleeing the scene.

When pressed, the Fire Brigade spokesman admitted, "some unfamous people may have also been in the hotel. They won't be missed."

More or less from imdb.

Also, Now Playing at the Zombietown 12-Screen Cineplex by John Moe.

Breakfast of Tiffanys
RAAAAAA!!!-bin Hood: Prince of Thieves
Brain Man
Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy
My Dinner of Andre
Alive (two screens)
Ocean's 11 with the Tops of Their Skulls Removed
Better Off Dead
A Beautiful Mind
Throw Momma From Her Brain
Foot Loose

One of the newest lists at McSweeney's, which I'm sorry but I still love about 60% of the time.

How do you get from this

"I'm very OCD, I find. I'm ashamed to say that. I come home and I'm like, 'Did somebody move that book?' I just notice everything. I'm very kind of observant. I'll have to catch a plane, like I'm in a hurry to go somewhere, and I'm in my kitchen rinsing out the glasses. I have a housekeeper that can do that and I'm sitting there cleaning the glass."

to

Hollywood actor Alec Baldwin has announced he suffers from obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).


???????

HELLO IMDB HYPERBOLE IS EXAGGERATION FOR EFFECT, ALEC BALDWIN DOES NOT TRULY HAVE OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER. YOU ARE BIG MORONS.

Thank you, IMDB, for providing some crazy.

Um, I almost literally can't believe this but apparently Jenna Von Oy (Six from Blossom) is still in show business--she has her own website. That is so awesome. I had a huge crush on her, just like any other guy who for any reason watched Blossom, and so it's nice to know that she managed to parlay that gig into a long-term livelihood. Unlike Blossom herself, who is rumored to be a marine biologist these days, a la George Costanza.

Boy oh boy, the Blossom memories are just trickling back into my head but as far as I can tell it was the best thing ever broadcast. That show was hilarious. I forget most of it, but wasn't her dad a misogynist musician or something? Wasn't Joey Lawrence on the show? I have a feeling there's a hidden goldmine of guest appearances--AND THERE IS! Giovanni Ribisi, of course, but LOOK! It's Phylicia Rashad, Claire Huxtable, playing Blossom's mom! And a young Toby Maguire as "Boy" in "Sex, Lies and Teenagers" Episode: #1.5 - 4 February 1991. Reggie Jackson as himself, Will Smith as the Fresh Prince (Uncredited), Omar "Playmakers" "Cuba's Brother" Gooding, David Arquette, Timothy Leary(?), Brittany Murphy, Stephen Root, Nikki Cox, David Schwimmer, Hugh Hefner, Jimmy Walker, Alex Trebek, James Marsden, and, oh my god, the holy grail:

"Blossom - A Rockumentary" Episode: #2.9 - 18 November 1991
Ryeland Allison .... Reggie
Mr. Blackwell .... Himself
Jere Burns .... Himself
David Cassidy .... Himself
Dick Clark .... Himself
David Faustino .... Himself
Neil Patrick Harris .... The 'Charming' Derek Slade
Don King .... Himself
Warren Littlefield .... Himself
Dinah Manoff .... Herself
Jodi Peterson .... Fan #1
Wolfgang Puck .... Himself
Martha Quinn .... Herself
Richard Selzer .... Himself (as Mr. Blackwell)
Tori Spelling .... Herself
J.J. Wall .... The Cop

NEIL PATRICK HARRIS, TORI SPELLING, and DAVID FAUSTINO in ONE EPISODE! AND IT'S A ROCKUMENTARY!!! So that's Joey Russo, Doogie Howser, Donna Martin, and Bud Bundy, all in one magical 30 minutes of TV. And that's not to mention Don King, Dick Clark, David Cassidy, and Wolfgang Puck! How can this not be the absolute pinnacle of popular culture, the zenith of artistic accomplishment, the ne plus ultra of sitcom greatness?

Much of the information in this post, except the revelation of my crush on Jenna Von Oy, found through Yankee Pot Roast, a daily humor site that is in the middle of '“I Love ‘I Love the [X]0s’,” in which contributors share fond memories of and incisive observations about VH1’s great retrospectives.' It is pretty awesome so far, cheap shots at Modern Humorist motivated by transparent jealousy aside.

Uh, guys, I think it was a joke:

Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe has been tipped to star in the adaptation of an acclaimed book about the second world war - after the project was hit with yet another delay. Author Sebastian Faulks' World War I novel Birdsong has been trying to get his 1994 story on the big screen for years, and is sick of constant delays. Faulks says, "The film has been supposed to be happening for ten years now with the film company Working Title who have the rights. All the original actors are now too old - Ralph Fiennes and before him Daniel Day-Lewis. More recently they were talking about Orlando Bloom or Jake Gyllenhaal, but it's apparently not them either. By the time it gets made, the star of Harry Potter could end up being old enough to do it - is he a good actor?"

I don't know who the idiots who write IMDB blurbs are, but they just have no sense of writing style whatsoever. Their trademark paragraph goes like this:

Star Does Something
A Star did something today. She said she did it because she wanted to. "I just wanted to do it," said the Star. She also did something else that she's always wanted to do. The Star explains, I always wanted to do something else, and so I did it!"

Today's example: Gyllenhaal Admits Diva Antics