Hello World

My friend Paige directed me to the pretentious 17-year-old's guide to dating. In addition to being funny, this reminded me that I often enjoy McSweeney's's (is that apostrophe work right?) daily pieces. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find an RSS feed for those pieces. Anyone out there have any information that could help me?

I made Gizmodo do this by saying this:

On Jun 16, 2005, at 9:34 AM, j _ wrote:

in this entry:

http://www.gizmodo.com/gadgets/cellphones/lg/index.php#lg-hands-free-bluetooth-dongles-108011

You mean "running the gamut," not running the "gambit"

Love,
Jake

The reply seems to be mean but is accurate:

From : John Biggs [johnb@gizmodo.com]
Sent : Thursday, June 16, 2005 9:43 AM
To : "j _" [my email address@my email provider]
Subject : Re: LG Hands Free Bluetooth Dongles

why don't you start a grammar blog? call it jakeisagrammarfan.com

---
John Biggs
johnb@gizmodo.com

Anyway, aside from that my day has been notable because I went to the eye doctor to get my eyes checked and get a prescription for contact lenses. I've never worn contacts, since my vision wasn't so bad that I couldn't get away with not wearing my glasses, but lately my vision has been getting worse and now my unaltered vision is pretty blurry. So contacts it is.

Man, I am not so great at putting things on my eyeballs. I sat in the doc's office for like an hour, holding my eyelids apart while trying to get these stupid plastic circles to STICK TO MY DAMN EYES ALREADY. The doctor wanted me to put them in, then take them out, and then do it all over again, to make sure I could do it. Turns out I can't really do it yet, considering how long that took, but I suppose I will get used to it.

After that was over, I stumbled home with the dorky eye doctor sunglasses because of my dilated eyes, and it was scary and it hurt, and of course I saw someone I know on the street and he laughed at me.

Oh, and my health care provider only covers one eye exam every 24 months, so I'm on the hook for the $84 exam. This better all be worth it.

Dear idiot:

You do not know how to use the English language. Here are some tips that will guide you in your pursuit of coherent prose:

( Learn to write. )

More sports idiocy: In March, police said they stopped [Qyntel] Woods and found marijuana in his car. When asked to produce his drivers license and proof of insurance, Woods reportedly provided officers with his rookie trading card as identification.

What a world, what a world.

On an unrelated note, I've decided to accept--nay, embrace-- the use of "they" as a singular gender-neutral pronoun. Anyone who has a problem with that needs to rethink their position, aided by a perusal of The Vocabula Review's excellent article revealing the gender-neutral use of "he" as a sinister plot created to make money off of--gasp--grammar textbooks. It also may have been a class-struggle thing, or good old anglo-saxon sexism, as well. Regardless, I disapprove.