Hello World

The Ace of Base song "All That She Wants (is Another Baby)" is about a woman who prowls the bars, looking to get knocked up so she can have a child. It has got to be among the creepiest pop songs ever. Also up there is "Billie Jean," which is of course Michael Jackson's musical proclamation of his innocence in a bizarre paternity suit filed against him by a crazed fan (in retrospect, it sure was nice when his scandals were about his sexual acts with adults). "Come On Eileen" is kind of sleazy too, which makes sense if you've seen the video (hairy Irishmen whistling on a dirty streetcorner, wearing overalls and nothing else). What other pop songs are uncomfortably creepy, when you actually think about the lyrics? Bonus points for songs you loved when you were a kid and that you only realized what they were about years later.

In other news, I think this would be an incredibly fun show:
LCD Soundsystem
Le Tigre
Bloc Party

Anyone interested in making that happen?

Bobby Brown: "Reality Show Helped Whitney and I"

Bobby Brown insists shooting his upcoming reality TV show has helped him and his wife, Whitney Houston, overcome their drug demons because the series showed them both how normal, but troubled their lives were. Being Bobby Brown, which doesn't feature any drug abuse, had led Brown to suggest it may have been just what his wife needed to show her she still had a problem. She checked into a rehabilitation facility after the series was filmed. Brown says, "I think it (the show) brought us closer together because it showed us that we're just normal." But the My Prerogative singer insists the rumored alcohol and drugs hell he and his wife went through is now in the past and he and Houston are sober and well. He adds, "The smell, the look in her eyes right now... just everything about her is what I met and I'm hoping that everything about me is what she met, and we're working hard at keeping our relationship maintained - and clean and sober." Brown insists it's time fans got behind the couple and stopped criticizing them for living a life they read about in tabloids. He explains, "If you love us and you like what we do as artists please just give us that, because that's what we give the most of, that's what we concentrate on, we concentrate on being the best singers and entertainers for you. When you try to break us down with our personal lives that really effects us. So, if I could say anything to people right now that's be to pray for us to be better."

To this I have only one thing to say: the smell? I mean, doesn't that phrase just bring to mind some uncomfortable ideas about what Whitney must have smelled like before? Like, great, she doesn't smell like rotting meat and rubbing alcohol anymore... do you really need to tell the world about it?

Bobby, you crazy bastard, you are just about the creepiest guy ever. You and R. Kelly (and Britney, and Russell, and Tom, and Lindsay, and, well, all of them really) should thank God every day that Michael Jackson paved the way for your bizarre behavior, allowing you to continue to make a living as a celebrity despite regularly and unceasingly demonstrating nothing but inhuman, anti-social, self-destructive insanity.

I met a LiveJournal person last night.

Specifically, I met joffy, who is not even my friend on LJ. More specifically, she is one of the only people on LJ who I have actively disliked. I find her incredibly annoying, and although I am aware that she does stuff specifically to bother people that doesn't stop her from irritating me. So when she started joking about stalking me and sent an emissary to negotiate on her behalf, well, how could I say no?

Anyway, it was uneventful, except that apparently she assumed I was a huge asshole (I can't imagine why!), and I think was disappointed that I didn't start off by throwing my drink in her face. Eventually I managed to convince her that I am in fact boring, not obnoxious, and so she left--but not before we documented the momentous occasion:



Oh, and what did I think about her? I thought she was nice, and easy to talk to.

So I'm just minding my own business at work, looking at job-related things on the internet, and I see( this lovely banner ad: )

Last night, I was talking with a friend of mine about Tom Cruise's totally legitimate relationship with Katie Holmes. We both agreed that he is a) straight b) not a credulous cult-member and c) extremely tall, and we definitely feel that his dating Katie Holmes, twenty years older than whom he is, is not in the least a publicity stunt and is in fact a public proclamation of a pure and honest love between two regular people who happen to be starring in upcoming summer blockbusters.

Anyway, apparently they are living together and engaged (maybe). What a storybook romance that no one, not even a heartless cynic, could take issue with.

Don't miss Batman and War of the Worlds: in theaters this summer!

Sarcasm update: See where I said "extremely tall" up there? That was the giveaway that I am not being entirely sincere! Not that you should need it! Even US WEEKLY isn't reporting this story seriously!