Hello World

Some people I know have been leaving anonymous comments for pointytoes, or as they call her LJ, Pointytoes.org. It started out as general meanness but ended up also being a sort of scathing critique of everything that goes on in liberal arts education. Or maybe it's nothing. I don't know. I enjoyed reading it, despite the rampant typos. You might want to check it out.

Some people don't like blogs.

I've been thinking about blog layouts and design and LiveJournal's strengths/weaknesses as a platform.

Some of the things I like about LJ include:

• The way comments are displayed as threads instead of as one long string.
  
• The built-in community features that make it easy to subscribe to and read lots of journals at once.
  
• The simplicity of selecting one of many layouts, and the limited but versatile customization options (colors, basic layout adjustments, etc).
  
• Cuts (like the one in this post), which make it easy to keep your main page neat and manageable.

Some of the things I don't like about LJ include:

• I can't use javascript in sidebar content.
  
• It's a serious hassle to do any extensive custom coding, since LJ has its own formatting language that you have to learn before you can get into the guts of changing your layout.
  
• Most of the world thinks LiveJournal hosts teenage goth girls exclusively, which does very little to enhance the credibility of anyone who writes here.
  
• No trackbacks, no simple way to see referral URLs, no invisible counter functionality (all of which would be simple for LJ to implement).

I've also got a pretty specific layout idea that LJ definitely doesn't offer me. As far as I can tell, nobody else does, either. ( Here's what I want: )

I'm thinking, eventually, about switching from LJ to something else, although as far as I can tell the only way to get exactly what I want is to code it myself, from the ground up--and, as awesome as I think I am, I'm pretty sure that's beyond my capabilities/free time. Does anyone out there (especially people who operate blogs outside of blogger/LJ) have thoughts or suggestions?

If you google my name, the #1 site is about me. It's been a long slog--for a while, all I got were pages like this one (a list of surnames), and this one (related to the fact that my last name is also a dorm at Johns Hopkins) and this ridiculous one (my alter ego is apparently enrolled in the School of Hard Knocks).

So now it's my Flickr page, DCist music reviews, and sundry immature articles from my college newspaper that mention me.

But not this blog. And I think that's probably good news. Or, you know, it was, until I wrote this.

I can tag posts now! Oooh, this is gonna be great.

Batman was pretty good, guys. Some of the dialogue was laughable (I laughed at it) but I think they picked the right guy to play Bruce Wayne. American Psycho did a good job. Katie Holmes was a complete waste of space, however, and the movie would have been better off without the romance plot. It was good to see Qui-Gon Jinn with a new padawan, even if he had a goofy Fu Man Chu 'stache. So you should go ahead and see it, because it is fun.

A selection from The Darth Side: Memoirs of a Monster

The crippled freighter sailed into my view from the bridge, crossing the crescent of Bespin and making for black space. In moments we would have them!

"This will be a day long rememebered," I said.

...Which is pretty much when the Millennium Falcon escaped to hyperspace.

I sighed. Why me?

I was even too dispirited to crush Admiral Piett's trachea.

Now I am in my hyperbaric chamber, listening to music (Rotan's Sonata for Holotyne) and trying to get a grip on things. Betrayed by a mimbo, surrounded by incompetence, my soul in knots; lost Skywalker, lost Organa, sold Solo...

The Emperor is going to barf when I tell him.

I know I should try not to get too excited about the next (and, theoretically, last) installment of Star Wars... but I can't help myself. The previews look awesome, and Tom Stoppard rewrote all the dialogue so it might not suck, and, oh yeah, Anakin turns into DARTH VADER.

Opinionated Techie writes about his experience visiting Disney World with his family. He decided to pay for the best room in one of the best Disney resorts, and analyzed the cost/benefit of that versus some cheaper alternatives. Basically, he found a $400 premium that has very little return. His thoughts on it are pretty interesting if you have been to a DisneyPlace anytime recently. His most recent post pushes the idea of tasering other people's children, an idea whose time has come.

I discovered that blog pretty much randomly--I found myself over at Joe User, another free blogging site, and Opinionated Techie is listed as the top blog on the site. I don't really like the look and feel of Joe User in general, but this guy seems like a decent writer who's interested in some of the same topics as me. So if you're not bored to tears when I write about mp3 players and intellectual property, you might want to check it out (and here's a post about the most needed features in the next iteration in Windows, in case you care about that).

Edit--I'm adding this because I refuse to make three posts in one morning:
"I Shit My Pants": Spontaneous Ancient Literary Structure in Modern Colloquial Speech

Chiasmus in a voicemail about crapping one's pants:

A The setting (the Grocery Store).
B The incident (the Shit).
B The incident (the Shit).
A The setting (the Grocery Store).

It is worth reading this. [also from boingboing--good day for links from them!]

You may be asking yourselves, what did calamityjake do after work on Tuesday night? You'll never believe it. I met bloggers! I went to Sette Ostoria in Dupont Circle, where I reconnoitered (or perhaps I just connoitered) with Aaron, Brandon, Kat, and Supine. To be honest, I was really only familiar with Brandon's blog (and he was the only one familiar with mine). Now, of course, I have to start reading everyone's and pretend I like them! Just kidding, guys, I think you're great! Maybe! HAHAHAHA!!!!

Anyway, we talked about blogs (predictably), crazy Utah (not entirely unexpectedly), Dexy's Midnight Runners (we think Dexy moved on to form Air Supply), and our indescribably-painful self-loathing (this was after a couple fancy drinks). It was fun, and everyone had a lot to say, and not a little to drink.

The most discomfiting thing, really, was how normal everyone was. I miss the good old days, when you could count on internet people to be anti-social geeky weirdos. Back in the day, it was not so easy to FIND AN ONRAMP TO THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY. I mean, you really had to put in some work to illegally download intellectual property, you coded your website in vi and checked your email via PINE, you actually had to worry about ping timeouts. And you know who was willing to put in the effort to do these things? Total losers, that's who--total losers who lacked the capacity to form satisfying real-life relationships, who desperately sought out a medium of communication that took appearance and personality out of the equation, leaving pure intellect and angst. Now those were some fun people to meet.

Nowadays, every Tom, Dick, and Harry--even people with serviceable social skills--can mosey over to blogspot and start a blog. Which is fine and good, I suppose, but you know, at this rate I'll never achieve my goal of being the Coolest Guy on the Internet. I knew this was a serious problem when Zach Braff started a blog for Garden State, and now that Matthew McConaughey has (or had) one I think I might as well just give up. I could probably still lock up the title of Coolest Guy Who Still Plays Magic: the Gathering. I'd have to start playing Magic: the Gathering, but I've stooped lower before, to boost my self-esteem.

At any rate, I had a good time talking to the bloggers and definitely recommend that you check out their blogs, which are all much more interesting than this self-indulgent nonsense.

In other news: My next post is #500, and I promise you it will be filled with soul-baring and disarming honesty. Also, it will be about sex.

Dear LiveJournal User calamityjake,

We have received proper notification under the Digital Millenium Copyright Act requiring the removal of your entry at http://www.livejournal.com/users/calamityjake/115086.html on the basis of it violating the copyright of the author. As such, we must require that you delete this entry by no later than 00:01 (midnight) EST 8 March 2005.

If you feel that this report is in error or that your use of the material falls under one of the categories permitted under copyright law, you are entitled to file a counter-notification, also under the provisions of US law; please contact us for information on how to do this. Filing a counter-notification indicates that you are willing to defend yourself in court against a charge of copyright infringement, and you may be bound by civil and possibly criminal penalties if you are found liable. Regardless of whether you choose to file counter-notification or not, the material removed by the deadline given above.

Regards,
Eric
LiveJournal Abuse Team

What should I do?


Update: I excised the offending content. You win this round, corporate law.

WE R RUNED!@!!!!!! [annoying ad required]

For a service whose active users number in the millions, LiveJournal's demographics skew athwart the mainstream: younger, more female and more resistant to the dominant culture. And in a business climate where the word "blog" is on every other Web observer's lips, even the tools used by the alienated have become desirable to investors. Thus the news, confirmed on Thursday, that the company had been purchased by the venture-capital-backed blogging technology start-up Six Apart. For those of us who care about keeping space open for anyone who veers from the straight and narrow, this business deal is cause for concern.

From here, the author goes on to say that LiveJournal's sale is A THREAT TO THE LIVES OF ITS DEPRESSED AND LONELY USER BASE. Well, that's practically what the article says. I guess a more responsible way to summarize it would be to say that the author expresses concern that Six Apart may not respect the differences between LiveJournal's user base and that of the general "blogosphere" (can we please come up with a better word for it?) and that this would be very bad for the "freaks, geeks and queers" who "need LiveJournal." Keep in mind that the next sentence in the article expresses the hope that Six Apart will "treat LJers with nonpatronizing respect." Oh, sweet irony.

edit 1: Anyway, I wouldn't consider myself an expert in blogging software, business practice, or sociology, but nothing about this deal screams out "disaster" to me. Is there a risk that Six Apart will totally screw up LJ? Sure, but I don't think that risk is much greater than it was before the sale, and Six Apart brings resources to the table that can greatly improve LJ, too. Things like linking LJs to TypePad and Movable Type blogs, which seem to scare danah boyd, those things appeal to me. I'd love to have track back support, more versatile publishing options, a larger support community, and an increase in users all contributing. So I guess I disagree strongly with the suggestion that this sale is inherently stupid or dangerous.

And what the fuck is up with the lower case byline? Your name is Danah Boyd, okay? e. e. cummings got away with that shit, but he was a fucking genius. YOU'RE NOT.

edit 2: I may have been a little harsh. Lowercase if you want to, ms. boyd, but most people are going to find it pretentious/precious/annoying. I guess you probably know that already, though, so carry on.

A friend emailed me to say he was thinking about starting up a blog of his own, and wanted to know a) what free service he should use and b) any general thoughts I had on the subject. Well, I have lots to say on this topic! And here, for the benefit of you, my cherished reader, is a copy of what I told my buddy:

I would be glad to help. Livejournal is great for building a community of people (since you can put together a list of other livejournal users whose posts all show up on one page), but unless you know a bunch of livejournal people it's probably easier/better to use blogger, the service owned by Google. It's a little easier to use and not so strongly associated with 14 year-old girls. Or you could use the most morbid blogging service, the livejournal ripoff: http://www.deadjournal.com.

Anyway, aside from the issue of which service to use the biggest thing to think about is who the hell is gonna read it? I haven't really figured out a good way to get mine read by too many people--my sisters, a handful of DC people, and some internet weirdos/friends are about it--which is fine. But most of my friends have read it once or twice and then stopped bothering (I think so anyway--it's hard to tell for sure, but they don't comment or mention reading it to me). So it's not a powerful soapbox from which to dispense your wisdom to the masses. Not for me, anyway. It is a great way to accidentally tell your parents you love strip clubs or the occult, however (or occult strip clubs, which frankly appeal to me a little bit, at least in theory).

I presume you've already considered this, but just to cover all bases: another thing to consider is what you're planning on writing about. I don't recommend a personal diary of your alcohol-fueled exploits, and although a fair amount of what I do is just post links and praise/make fun of them I think it's really better to actually write more substantial stuff. People would rather read 1 good thoughtful post a week than 8 quick "check out this cool link!" posts a day (or at least I would rather).

So there you have it. Jake's Guide to Blogging.

Hee hee hee. How many bloggers think they're being ironic when they link to this story about compulsive blogging? Probably a lot.

This part hit a little close to home:

Sometimes, too, the realization that no one is reading sets in. A few blogs have thousands of readers, but never have so many people written so much to be read by so few. By Jupiter Research's estimate, only 4 percent of online users read blogs.

Indeed, if a blog is likened to a conversation between a writer and readers, bloggers like Mr. Wiggins are having conversations largely with themselves.

This is, technically, a livejournal. It's like a blog, except it's much easier to get a bunch of people to half-heartedly read what you write. See, LJ people want to be loved, so they pretend to love other people so that the other people will pretend to love them back. It's quite disgusting, really, but it is what it is. And that's why people read mine--because I pretend to care about them.

Anyway, most people on LJ write, with varying degrees of skill, accounts of their day-to-day lives, and although there's a smattering of that in my LJ, I try to write about things that might actually be of interest to strangers who don't know me or care about me (or have any reason to pretend to care about me). Some of the things that interest me are technology, politics, grammar, literature, and pop culture. This means that you are probably bored to tears by at least 40% of what I like, but on the other hand you're not likely to hate everything I like.

If you know me in real life, and you read this thing, let me know. You are familiar with the fact that I am an egotistical, self-centered person, so you surely understand why I crave attention and accolades. Give them to me.

If you don't know me in real life, and you read this thing, let me know. I am an egotistical, self-centered person, and I crave attention and accolades. Give them to me.

Oh, and I guess this work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 License by me, calamityjake. That sounds iron-clad to me.